WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I'm *SO* pissed right now that I could just spit. Why is it that I am unable to make my own decisions without having to justify them to everybody or feel like I'm being an asshole? I am so SICK and TIRED of people expecting me to explain myself whenever I make a decision with which they may not agree.

Case and point: Kelly and I had planned on having a Col Solare (wine) vertical tasting. Beings as the Col Solare retails for $70/bottle and we were planning on tasting years 1995 through 2003, we agreed that we would invite those who would be able to enjoy such a wine (for those who may not have a great appreciation for fine wine wouldn't be able to distinguish between a $10 bottle of wine versus a $100, etc). Since I was going to provide the wine, Kelly agreed to provide the venue and the food. We set a date and as we were confirming the times, Kelly threw me a curveball.

Let me give you a little history before I continue my rant. Some of you may have heard about my camping trip a month or so ago. Patrick was coming back to Seattle from Arizona and wanted to go camping. He was pretty specific in that he didn't want another friend from PLU--Rachel (not to be confused with the Rachel that reads this blog and comments, she's much cooler)--to join us on our camping trip and requested that each of us not mention it to her. She's dating this guy named Brandon (who, to give full credit, is a nice guy) and she has him _so_ whipped. We've all grown tired of listening to the two of them together when doing functions within our group. For instance, the first time the two of them came to a wine tasting, Rachel and Brandon were fighting over whether or not Brandon liked red wine. He kept saying, "No, Rachel, I don't like red wine," while she kept nagging him, "Yes, Brandon, you do. I KNOW you do." Uhm, excuse me here, but wouldn't HE know whether or not he liked red wine? This is just a tip of the iceberg in terms of how annoying they are in public. Another example of their dysfunctional relationship: whenever they are in public, Brandon doesn't speak to the group, he'll whisper into Rachel's ear his opinion or something to say only for her to put her own spin on things and then say his opinion. SO annoying. Needless to say, Rachel found out about the camping trip before it happened and had a cow when she realized her friends (more like Patrick) were plotting behind her back (too bad she still thinks it was Kelly's idea to hide everything when it was really Patrick). Needless to say, not only did she invite herself camping, but she brought Brandon. After I calmed down from the idea of spending a weekend with the dysfunctional couple, I thought that this might be a good time to get to know Brandon a little better, and perhaps get him to get out of his shell (wouldn't you think spending 72 continuous hours with somebody would get them to open up, right? wrong!), but he wouldn't budge. It was the same old shit. Perhaps it's me being judgmental, but it just drives me crazy. I do not enjoy myself when I'm around them. Period.

So when I got the email from Kelly on Wednesday asking me if I minded if she invited Rachel (and by affiliation, Brandon) to the Col Solare vertical, I didn't have a good feeling. When Kelly and I had our original discussion about the vertical I specifically mentioned that I wouldn't want to waste the wine on Rachel (who enjoys wine, but doesn't really have an advanced palette). She told me that Rachel was over on Tuesday and wanted to do something with Kelly on the 19th and Kelly found herself dancing around the issue and didn't want to continue to hide this behind Rachel's back (and since we're having the party at Kelly's house, I can definitely see her point and understand that she is stuck in the middle). I asked Kelly to invite Rachel on the 19th and that we'll just make it a regular wine tasting party. Unfortunately I don't think that Kelly understood my reasons for not wanting to have the Col Solare with Rachel and Brandon in attendance. The bottom line is that I DO NOT want to part ways with several hundred dollars of wine at a party where I will NOT have any fun. I don't have ANY problem in bringing a $20 bottle of wine to party where I'm all fake and could really give a shit about what is going on. AM I BEING COMPLETELY FUCKING UNREASONABLE HERE?

Ultimately I'll eventually have the CS party at my place with the guest list of my choosing. I'm not directly friends with Rachel (the only time I've ever hung out with Rachel with just the two of us is when Kelly was in France; all of the other times it's been when I've been with Kelly) so I don't really mind not inviting her.

I really wish I could just get over my issues with Rachel and Brandon. Unfortunately everybody else just tolerates their behavior and then talks about it behind their backs (I can only imagine what comments may be said about me behind my back with regard to this latest "episode"). I can't just sit idle and be all fake and shit to their face. It would be completely different if I have something invested in my friendship with Rachel, but I really don't. Does this make me a bad friend? I've always been up front with my friends and speak my mind--if I have a problem with you, I don't have a problem in letting you know, and I would expect that it works both ways.

I will now get down off my fucking soapbox. UGGGGGGGGH.