Vince Vaughn is one funny bitch

I'm finally just now getting around to seeing Wedding Crashers. I can definitely see what all the hoopla was about--it's an absolutely funny movie. Vince Vaughn makes the movie. He is such a great improvisational actor, and his timing is perfect. The following is from two excerpts in the movie that I don't think I can ever forget!

Ahh... Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested, I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested, but I'm not that interested, but I think she might be interested, but do I want to be interested, but now she's not interested, so now all of a sudden I'm getting... I'm started to get interested. And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door 'cause then it's awkward? It's like, well, goodnight. Do you do like the ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug eachother like this and the ass sticks out because you're trying not to get too close or just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while your just really want to know are we going to get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions. And perhaps play a little game called just the tip, just for a second, just to see how it feels or ouch ouch you're on my hair.

And

She's good. I mean, I believed that she was a virgin. It hurts to be lied to like that. It's a horrible feeling to feel that way. But I, you know, was looking to take advantage of something too. So could I really feel that bad? It's not like I was who I was. You know what I'm saying? So, fair play. And let's be honest with each other here, okay? Let's put all the cards on the table. She's fit for a straitjacket. This broad's fucked three ways toward the weekend. And you wanna know what? I dig it! It turns me on! Yeah! It turns me on! Because you wanna know what the kicker is, Father? Maybe I'm a little fucking crazy! That's right! Maybe Jeremy's a little nuts. Maybe there's something about me that I'm a little cuckoo. I know it's a surprise. I know it's not on the surface. I mean, I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid and his name was Shiloh. We used to play checkers with each other every day and bless his heart, Shiloh'd always let me win! And that ain't normal. There's something odd in that but maybe that's what it takes to make you feel like you're connected with somebody. I don't know! But I know when that redhead starts getting kooky that something about me feels alive inside! I'm diggin' talkin' with ya. You're a really enlightened cat and I like that about ya. I think you're a special special man. Okay, come in for the real thing. Get in here for the real thing. You're a sweet man.